LB: My Favorite SAG-AFTRA Strike Parody

([Author’s] Disclosure: Every so often, I try to write a Hollywood thing and it goes nowhere, though sometimes it goes nowhere after someone has paid me an amount of money and we have signed a contract, so I have a dog in the writers strike fight, if not a dog who is my regular employer!)

My dear shareholders! Do not worry about the fact that all the screen actors and screenwriters are on strike.

If there is one thing I have figured out about the meaning of life and the meaning of art, it is that art is something that should be entirely the product of machines and robots while people march around with picket signs and complain that they cannot afford food and housing. Also, no one should ever be paid a residual, whatever that is. I just don’t like the sound of it.

Art, as we know, represents the fundamental human striving to wring profit for a large corporation from a concept that already exists in the culture. It might involve human beings coming together to tell stories with their minds, bodies and faces, but it doesn’t need to. In fact, I think it would be more efficient if it didn’t….