“Resistance is Futile”

(Talk about people with karma problems!)

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, never have. However, I have of late done my absolute best to be less snarky because…well, someone in my household (no, not Layla) has pointed out to me the benefits of behaving like the elder statesman said someone believes me to be.

The main benefit, the one that made me give kindness and understanding a try, was when Gwen (oh, shit, I gave it away!) casually mentioned that “When you’re nicer to people, or at least about them, they’ll be nicer to you. It’s a good karma thing, you know?”

Anyway, I’ve been practicing non-snarkyness for a while now – which is one of the reasons I haven’t posted much lately – but this morning I saw the following headline on avclub.com:

“Dr. Phil to cease playing pretend TV doctor this spring”

And, sorry Gwen and anyone else who’s hoping for a dignified elder statesman LB, but I just can’t resist bringing y’all this:

by Matt Schimkowitz

The doctor is out.

Dr. Phil, the long-running daytime television show in which a guy without a medical license yells at vulnerable people seeking help until he determines they’re cured, is coming to an end. This spring, the series will wrap its 21 seasons on CBS, opening the door for another one of Oprah’s grifter buddies to come in and fill the void.

Phil McGraw, who stopped renewing his medical license in 2006, will continue to play pretend doctor on television in all likelihood. As Variety notes, he plans on announcing a “strategic primetime partnership” that will allow him “increase his impact on television and viewers” because he’s “compelled to engage with a broader audience.” McGraw says he has “grave concerns for the American family,” which means he presumably wants more teens on his television show to yell at and diagnose.

There’s more to this article, of course. So if you want to read the work of a true Snarkmeister, hie thyselves HERE ASAP.

Um, I do get some karmic credit for not actually being the writer of this bit of genius, right?

Big thanks to Matt Schimkowitz for making my day.